


Orbit

by confusinglydecidedlyso



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-01-01
Updated: 2013-01-01
Packaged: 2017-11-25 01:55:42
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 718
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/633851
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/confusinglydecidedlyso/pseuds/confusinglydecidedlyso
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Zayn and Liam have always orbited each other.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Orbit

The thing is, Liam knows.

Zayn knows Liam knows, because he’d told him one night, while pretending to be a lot drunker than he actually was. Mumbled declarations of love and then there was laughter and Zayn had to fix it, wouldn’t let his false dutch courage be wasted on an “I love you too mate,” because that’s not what he meant, that’s never what he meant, never just that when it came to Liam. “Shit, Li, I’m so fucking in love with you.” Liam had laughed uncomfortably, set Zayn to bed (because above all, Liam was a good friend, cared for the boys, and he wouldn’t be Liam if he didn’t want the best for his mates, no matter how uncomfortable it made him), and gone to room with one or more of the other boys, even though it had been their turn to share. And that was kind of heartbreaking.

The good thing about his feigned intoxication was that, the next day, after some “Holy shit, I don’t even know how I ended up in my own bed last night,” and “I seriously can’t remember anything after that blue thing with the umbrella in it,” all seemed to be forgiven, and the group dynamics left untouched. And that was kind of heartbreaking, too.

-

When it came to love and feelings (and shit, Zayn would add, for self preservation), he wasn’t nearly as confident as he was perceived to be in that aspect. When Simon had assembled the band, he hadn’t figured for (at least) 3/5 of the members falling in love with the others. So yeah, there were tabloid stories, and “leaked” phone calls, and really, Zayn could see why, but it was unfortunate that being a bit of a slut for it would get them more album sales than him being in love with another boy - because really, that’s what they’d been when they started - boys.

A few years into their careers and their lives, and Zayn would call them men. There’s so many things that they’d had to deal with together, as a unit, and as a unit you couldn’t fault them. As a unit the boys banded together beautifully, all 5 of them coiling around each other and forming an impenetrable bond. When you dissected them, though, and paired them up, looked at the singular relationships between them that essentially made them up, it wasn’t as simple. And Zayn really couldn’t tell you how it worked, how Harry and Louis could love each other (conditionally) and Zayn and Louis loved each other, really, but they could butt heads stronger than any of the other boys would and how Zayn and Liam, when it came to it, were more affectionate with each other than they were with their bandmates, though the others could tell that it meant a lot more to Zayn than it did to Liam - but together they were unmovable, unrelenting, together.

-

So, yeah, Liam knew. They all did. And it was affecting Zayn a lot more than he’d hoped it would. He had hoped, after that night, how obvious it had become that Liam didn’t want him, he’d be able to get over it. He’d tried to hook up with someone, had found a hole in the wall kind of place where you wouldn’t want to be seen (but the people you wouldn’t want to be seen by wouldn’t be there either) and found himself staring at a guy at the bar, all steady build and dark eyes and short at the sides cut and a deep penetrating laugh. He knew why he was looking, wasn’t naive enough to convince himself that it was an unconscious decision as he chatted him up easily, eventually leaving with him to a broken hotel on the side of the road with a flickering ‘vacancy’ sign in neon lights. They’d got as far as Zayn toppled back onto the bed and dominated, with the man’s hands creeping up under his shirt, under his skin, ants crawling, until Zayn had pushed him off and mumbled an apology, leaving some money for the night next to the door as he got the fuck out of there.

Zayn couldn’t fucking handle it anymore, Liam didn’t want him and, apparently, Zayn couldn’t use anyone else to replace him.

**Author's Note:**

> Let me know what you think? Feedback is amazing and I'll take criticism on board (is that the saying?).


End file.
